If you happen to read this:

Today, this day, was awful. I never wanted to go back to feeling like this. It's as if I had went back in time and ended up where I left off in May. To completely take it all in, I sat on the beach and waited for the festivities of the day to be over with. Katie called and told me that it was going to be a little longer than expected and invited me to join them; I left. When I got there, I was overwhelmed with a hollow feeling. I thought to myself, "Everyone is here. They have been here all day. I was told it was a 'family' thing. Then why are all of them here? Why didn't anyone call me? Didn't they know this was my day off? They didn't get my text?" After standing there, thinking, I smiled and said hey. Shortly after, we left to go see Michael and Tyler's new apartment. The apartment was nice. We played cards at the parent's house afterwards; I was not feeling well inside. Something was attacking me. Something wanted me to think these things. Thoughts of things I've done and things I could do suffocated me. I couldn't breathe. The cards in my hands crinkled under pressure. We stopped playing and I left without saying goodbye. The drive home was long and I had to talk to someone, I needed a word. Brendan prayed over me and I felt peace. The attacker was leaving and God showed me a brighter tomorrow.

Take Care.